Life after losing Keira: Heartache and healing

Remembering an unforgettable dog: It's been a year since we said goodbye to Keira 

I read a quote recently that resonated with me. It said, "Grief does not shrink, we expand to accommodate it." The hole that Keira left in my life (and in Hazel's life) is as large as it was a year ago, but Hazel and I have grown to accept that it will always be there. On July 13, 2020, I made the difficult decision to euthanize my sweet, beloved Keira. Even though it was the right thing to do because she was suffering from an unknown illness (possibly gastric cancer) I had a hard time letting her go. I remember being in total disbelief. It's hard to believe a year has gone by already. 

Euthanizing a pet during a pandemic was surreal. It breaks my heart that the last time Keira looked at me, my face was hidden behind a facemask. It breaks my heart that she never got to say goodbye to Hazel. I was fortunate to be able to go inside the veterinary clinic and to have a veterinary team of my dearest friends caring for Keira that day. She was surrounded by people who truly loved her. I often think about how lucky I am that my pandemic experience was a positive one. I know many pet owners have had to wait outside the clinic in their vehicles while their pets are being euthanized inside. While I understand and support veterinary clinics for making this difficult decision to keep their team safe, I empathize with the pet owners grieving outside. Covid-19 has made an already difficult situation even worse.

Keira is an unforgettable dog. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her. I feel like she's still with us. She comes on every walk Hazel and I take, prancing beside us. She swims gracefully beside Hazel each time she clumsily dives in. She fetches every ball Hazel doesn't fetch. She squeezes in for every snuggle. She's a gypsy following us during our travels. I don't know what the rainbow bridge is like, but I hope she still gets to run through the swamp, dig big holes on the beach, and explore the wilderness. We miss you more and more every day Keira. I hope you hear me when I talk to you. Hazel and I will never be the same without you. We will love you forever.